In person or by video.

The Approach

Relationship is likely where we learn the most about who we are—but relationships are hard. It’s like running a marathon. At first you feel great. Ten miles in you feel…no so great. Your toenails might fall off, you might have to stop and rest—but you have to finish, one way or another. Most of us come to partnership carrying patterns we did not choose, and it is in the presence of another person that those patterns become impossible to ignore. I ask couples to come to the relationship whole: know yourself, take responsibility for your part, and take seriously the spiritual connection at the core of the partnership. If you can’t—honestly it might be time to consider solitude. That’s ok.

Four Spheres of Partnership

My work with couples draws on two ideas. First, from 'On Spiritual Partnership': come to the relationship whole. Don't process your issues inside it, don't ask your partner to fix you, and keep the spiritual connection front and center, every day. Second, from 'Four Spheres of Autonomy': every partnership moves through four spheres where each person remains fully themselves. Expectations of access of each of these areas are usually the exact thing that most needs discussing.

  1. Physical. Each person has the right to their own body — to choose what they do with it and how they grant access to it — and is responsible for how their actions affect the other.

  2. Psychological. Each person keeps their own thoughts, opinions, and judgments. Don't stifle a partner's contrarian view to appear unified.

  3. Emotional. Each person has the right to their feelings — to notice what they're feeling, not just what they're thinking — and is responsible for how those emotions land on the other.

  4. Transcendent. Each person owns their own understanding of the bigger picture — their personal mythology, culture, and meaning — and shares it without violating the other three.

Relationship is the spiritual path: two people, whole, choosing each other with the highest measure of consciousness they can muster. Get in touch to book a session.

Fees

New couples intakes are private-pay only — $225-300 per session on a sliding scale, payable at the time of service. Insurance is not billed for couples therapy.