Frequently Asked Questions

Does this therapy work?

Sometimes. Sometimes not. The mental health field in the United States is vast, with roughly 200,000 therapists and more than 80,000 psychologists. Most therapists are women, and many rely primarily on traditional talk therapy models. Those approaches can be very effective, but they do not work equally well for everyone.

Men, in particular, often arrive in therapy carrying years of pressure to suppress emotion, avoid vulnerability, or define themselves entirely through work, stoicism, anger, or self-reliance. Many do not respond well to approaches that feel passive, abstract, or disconnected from the realities of their lives.

My own path has included both traditional and unconventional approaches, which is why I tend to work in a more adaptive and personalized way. Some people need structure and accountability. Some need practical tools. Some need a place to talk honestly without being judged. Others need help understanding patterns they have repeated for years without realizing it. The growth of alternatives such as coaching, peer support, men’s groups, and psychedelic-assisted therapy reflects the reality that people are looking for approaches that feel more direct, flexible, and relevant to their lives.

Therapy works best when it fits the person, not when the person is forced to fit the method.

Do you work with just dudes?

Nope, I see everyone. I have found that men today need more dedicated counselors who have been out in the world working and doing and have some bumps and bruises. The mental health industry is 75-80% female, and the average age of therapists is 37 ! I’m 55 if you are wondering.

How come you do longer sessions?

I find that it works better for letting people relax. We can wander off-topic and come back, share our experiences, stretch, and meditate. I also do short sessions—the average session is 53 minutes.

You’re Old. Why did you become a COUNSELOR?

When I graduated from college, someone asked me, “So what do you want to be when you grow up?” I replied, “Enlightened.” To this very day, I follow what interests me. I pursue the things that charm me, challenge me, or make me feel more alive. At various points I imagined becoming a monk, a lifeguard, a chef, a motorcycle salesman, a stockbroker, a strategic executive, a national security adviser, and eventually, a therapist. My path has not been particularly linear. Most of it simply happened because I kept moving toward whatever lit up my world and made me feel that I was doing something worthwhile.

Over time, I realized that my life is better when it is shared with other people and when I was helping them in some meaningful way. That, more than any title or career path, is probably the closest thing I have found to an answer.

What did you do in corporate America?

I served as a distinguished strategic advisor for over two decades. My career includes serving as Chief of Staff for an International Development Fund, leading an NGO as Executive Director, and sharing this expertise as a lecturer in Economics and Ethics. I was honored as a "Top Voice" on LinkedIn in 2015. I have counseled top executives, elite athletes, and high-performance sales leaders. I left the corporate world in 2018.

Why did you leave corporate life?

I worked in corporate advertising and strategy briefly before becoming a management consultant. I appreciated the lessons I learned and my colleagues, but my time in that world was up. I followed the signs and landed where I was supposed to be.

What about brain science and Medications?

I am fascinated by the phenomenon of human consciousness and have been for nearly thirty years. My undergraduate thesis in philosophy focused on John Searle’s The Rediscovery of the Mind, and I later studied in the Mind, Ethics, and Epistemology M.Phil program at The University of Edinburgh.

Can consciousness ever be fully explained? Perhaps not. It may always remain one of the central mysteries of human life. We can understand patterns, observe how thought shapes mood and behavior, examine the stories people tell themselves, and make practical changes that improve their lives. In short, the brain’s fundamental power remains a mystery.

“The wonder will remain that mere wet stuff can make this bright inward cinema of thought, sight, sound, and touch, bound into a vivid illusion of an instantaneous present, with a self—another brightly wrought illusion.”

• Note: I am not a prescriber, but I can refer clients to one when needed and help them think through medication, side effects, adherence, and the relationship between medication and the broader work of therapy.

Who influenced you as a kid?

When I was about ten, my mother worked at McDonald's to support our family. I spent long afternoons at the public library waiting for her shift to end. I wandered the stacks and read almost anything I could get my hands on. Oddly enough, I discovered both Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung at a very early age. I did not understand all of it, of course, but I understood enough to know that there was something profound and mysterious about the mind.

The women in my family—especially my mother, my maternal grandmother Tobias, and her sister Margaret—noticed that I was happiest with books, so they enrolled me in a book-a-week club. I am deeply indebted to them for that. They gave me the habit of reading, and in many ways they gave me the foundation for the life I have now.

I never stopped devouring books. I still love books. More books.

Can you suggest some books?

Tons. Hemingway, Primo Levi, Marquez, Borges, Calvino, Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. Bruce Chatwin’s Songlines. I also read junk books about the Royals for sheer fun. I also teach creative writing and coach other writers.

Why is the world such a fucked up place?

The spiritual teachers many of us most revere understood that human delusion is without end. I often think of Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha, as the “Great Psychologist,” and Christ as the “Great Healer of Hearts.” Both spoke plainly to the recurring realities of greed, anger, grief, violence, and ignorance. One need only open one’s eyes to see that this is true.

Yet both also taught that these obstacles can be addressed in one’s own life. Though we cannot purge the world of them entirely, we can meet them in ourselves, reduce their hold, and begin the work of healing, honesty, and inner freedom.

Are you Religious?

Not particularly. I do not belong to any organized religion and have little interest in institutional dogma for its own sake. I have spent many years studying several major religious traditions and regard them all as profound, sacred, and deeply human attempts to answer the same enduring questions.

To me, the essence of most spiritual paths is that we must find your own way. In many respects, I think Christ and the Buddha taught something similar. Be honest. Be kind. Stand up to injustice. Pay attention to the state of your own heart and mind. Do not rely on others for anything. I do not believe you need a guru, a priest, a platform, a method, or a broker to approach what is sacred—whatever one believes that to be. Most people already know, at some level, what they need to do. All that aside I love the

I don't know about therapy. Can I talk to you just ONce?

Yes, of course. Schedule a consultation. I offer what would be similar to coaching as well. However—I charge for my time. Think of it this way—would you ask a plumber to come over and fix a leak to see how they do it? No you wouldn’t.

What are your credentials?

I am an ordained lay teacher in the Rinzai Zen Buddhist tradition affiliated with Charles River Zen in Boston, and a practicing Catholic. With more than twenty years of contemplative training, I integrate classical philosophy, depth psychology, and trauma-informed care into a grounded, disciplined therapeutic framework. My work focuses on accountability, symbolic meaning-making, and the restoration of coherence in the self. I am also a survivor of childhood abuse, a recovering addict, and a rugby fan.

What do you do for fun?

I quite literally lift heavy things, and chop a lot of firewood. I go walking or snowshoeing with my dogs and cook. I have a “to-do” list the size of my arm around on my homestead. I watch a lot of British television. I read a lot. I grew up in our local public library and read anything I could get my hands on: Darwin, Freud, Jung, CS Lewis, Tolkien, Norse myth, and Greek Myth. It’s a habit I have to this day. I also love to listen to classical music, and take baths—sometimes simultaneously.

What is somatic experiencing?

I utilize the teachings and training of Peter Levine, who created Somatic Experiencing. I suggest his book Waking the Tiger Within. Simply put, somatic experiencing is a way of accessing trapped or concealed emotional energy in the body—often pent up from earlier trauma. It is powerful and valuable. I was fortunate enough to work with a therapist who used this modality for seven years in therapy, so I know the ropes.

Can you relate to trauma?

Deeply. I wrote a book based loosely on my childhood to work through my own entanglement with shame, grief and disillusionment. You can find it if you are so inclined. I have had many rough years mixed with the good ones. I do not have immediate family. I lost both my parents and cut ties with my siblings during COVID. You will inevitably be unpopular once you start pointing out the glaring faults of your family. I don’t actually suggest it. I’ve been in many relationships. I thrive now in solitude because I want to. I believe people can heal. I rely entirely on my self-knowledge to guide me.